Due to the current draught in the McLovin' market, my family has resorted to drastic methods - arranging my dates, which they hope will eventually lead to a happy union.
Unfortunately, picking out faceless and characterless "potential profiles", "suitable boys" and "fantastic earners", has taken a toll on my brain.I have come up with a foolproof "save yourself" 5-point plan.
If you ever find yourself in this position, feel free to introduce yourself according to my simple description below by listing some of your best and presentable traits which are permitted to broadcast to your social network. I'm half tempted myself to try this stunt!
1. ___ is beautiful and stunning, as long as you don't mind those mammoth like teeth. But hey, there's some good ivory in those babies. Cha-ching!
2. ____ is a very sociable person. If you don't mind her alcoholism and hard partying ways, you are guaranteed a good time my friend. Hic!
3. ____ has been on television. Oh yes! Celebrity Rehab.
4. ___ is a celebrity? Of course! She is Perez Hilton's all time favorite Z-lister who became famous on Girls Gone Wild! WOOHOO SPRING BREAK!!
5. ____ is definitely smart. She topped the Playboy Mansion's Crash Course in Pleasing and can answer every Ethan Hawke trivia question!
Run! Save yourself!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment