They should start issuing arrest warrants for being single now, especially since public heckling of the single woman has become an acceptable process. Miss Manners deemed it inappropriate to poke fun at overweight people, the mentally challenged, physically handicapped, and even smokers so everybody decided to give it a go at single women. We are, after all, easy targets – alone, susceptible to depression with the tendency to lead slightly "unorthodox" lifestyles. Who could blame us? Unburdened by the pressure of screaming children, mounting bills, irresponsible spouses and the regrettable series of "what ifs", as a bulls-eye we are rather appealing.
Myth 1: Every single woman chooses to be single
Burned at the stake for being single, I try to explain to friends and family alike that this is not a "lifestyle choice". "Darling, this is so unhealthy and unnecessary. Please fall in love, or let us find you somebody to spend the rest of your life with," my mother laments at the breakfast table every morning while twisting her wedding ring. My parents have been in union for twenty seven years.
According to them, I am reaching my expiry date. Emile Durkheim's Social Construction of Reality mentioned how basic reciprocal roles become habitualized and institutionalized over the period of time, which he aptly termed "social constructionism". I suppose this -ism might be able to explain how and how couples tend to view the single individual. With coupling up, a certain sense of conformity, stability and certainty settles in, and the "single" is perceived as the polar opposite, or the mysterious "other".
Myth 2: We live like the Sex and the City girls
This leads me to the inexcusable assumption that the single woman is easily promiscuous and lacks the appropriate morals to maintain a steady relationship. A "How are you?" to an old friend who was recently engaged to be married warranted a "How are all the men, wink wink. Tell me your sexy stories," followed by unnecessary giggles. This left me not only offended, but slightly shaken. I live by the adage, 'A person is only exceeded by their reputation', and this was definitely not good news.
More on my alleged sexed up behavior, according to another source is if I were to ever to star in any movie, it would be titled, "Ketki's Sex and the City". Even better, now I feel like a real movie celebrity who is getting to star in her very own pornographic blockbuster. "Hitting Adult Film Stores near you!"
I truly am astonished with the general assumption of the single woman's promiscuity. Perhaps popular media such as Sex and the City has been a major contributing factor towards creating these negative preconceived notions, but are people seriously too daft to distinguish between television and reality? Hey, not every woman can be the man Samantha is.
Embrace your singledom
I say we stick it to those busybodies who have persecuted us for decades and celebrate being single exactly like the Sex and the City girls. Why shirk into the shadows when you can flaunt it instead?
Fact one: Single people have more fun
Single people DO have more fun. With no partner restrictions, you are free to do anything you like. Have you been buggered into going for your second cousin's brother in law's sister's wedding where you will only be scrutinized further and then set up on equally horrid blind dates? Then don't go.
Instead, treat yourself to a day by getting on a helicopter and touring around Sydney Harbor while enjoying the view, followed by a luxurious lunch buffet at the Sydney Tower Restaurant. In the evening, grab your single girlfriends and head over to the Taronga Zoo for a 'Roar and Snore' sleepover, where you can sleep in chic tents while overlooking the Sydney Harbor on one side, and lions on the other.
Fact two: Life can be like Sex and the City
Live like a Sex and the City girl. Do the shopping, martinis, and parties. After all, Sydney is a very sexy city. Head to King St at Newtown which is home to some of the edgiest fashion in the city. If you feel like being surrounded by the familiar faces of high fashion, spend the day at the Queen Victoria Building or Skygarden that feature top notch Australian and international labels.
After shopping, hit the Establishment Bar or The Loft for some cosmopolitans with your single girlfriends, and party the night away at Stonewall on Oxford Street, that features some of the best drag shows in town.
Stand up for yourself
The next time an annoying aunt asks you why you are still single, flash her your winning smile and tell her off in typical Samantha Jones style, "None of your f&*^@#) business!" Then storm off in those Louboutins.
Friday, October 15, 2010
Single and Fabulous
Monday, October 11, 2010
Villain
“Pass the prawn curry,” I mumbled as I reached out over the table over steaming plates of white Basmati rice, Fish Ambotik, marinated cod fillets, naans dripping with thick butter and round soft gulabjamuns. As I reached out, I began to notice that my elbows had begun to develop dimples once again, my arms had become thicker and my elegant female form that I had worked so hard to achieve was now fading into obscurity. I was becoming fat girl again.
Fat girl was a persona who nobody liked in the family. She was always depressed, mean, constantly critical of others, and she hoarded on clothes. I was the ideal example of a bipolar eater – an obsessive dieter for two weeks and then an irresponsible gorger for six.
I had just recovered from a year of post bronchitis chronic cough, and after steroidal medication, the additional pounds had packed on. As I reached for the prawn curry cooked in heavy coconut milk, cream and red spices, my mother’s glanced up at me sternly and shook her head. Always a cheerleader for my weightloss, and a healthy contributor for my low self-esteem in the process, I retracted with a guilty expression.
After the satisfying lunch, we walked out to our bus. There were twelve of us, my parents, my brother and me, my uncle’s wife and two children, my other uncle’s two children, and a couple who were family friends of many years. The interesting people in the whole group were really the couple, out of whom the wife was a dermatologist and a consultant for the Miss India beauty pageant. Standing at a petite five feet with a rock solid body wearing only thin cotton mini, she sported a Mondial watch, and spoke in a smooth buttery high pitched voice.
“Girls,” she cooed, addressing me and my sixteen year old female cousins, “You know how to look slimmer in photos?” What was she hinting at? That fat girl needed some extra help?
“Uh, haha sure why not?” I giggled nervously. The prawn curry and rice was lying heavy on my stomach, not to mention the beige capris were not helping to minimize my rather large behind.
“Okay, first slowly rotate your body to the right so that you look diagonal. Now right hand on your right hip and look towards the camera. Give some attitude. Right, fantastic, great, pose!” Flash! My father topped my embarrassment with his strategic right here right now “with my trusty camera”. I rushed to the camera to see if her idea really worked. All I saw was a fatter version of me smiling sheepishly trying out for the Miss Elephant Thailand pageant. The diagonal angle had caused a larger surface area of my body to be exposed. This position may work on stick thin anorexic models who survive on a diet of cigarettes, lettuce and coffee, but not my figure of fish curry and rice.
“Isn’t it fantastic?” she revelled.
“Heh, yeah, great. Thanks,” I mumbled. I turned around, did the eye roll I developed as an adolescent and sauntered off. What did she know? She never had to suffer the cruel fate of a slow metabolism.
We climbed into the big family bus and began our two-hour journey to the airport. I looked out the window at the rolling Goan countryside. My mind traveled back through the four days we spent at the resort. I had spent most of the evenings before dinner trying to squeeze into pants a size smaller, which led to the rest of the night being uncomfortable about whether my love handles were hanging out. I was constantly scanning girls’ bodies around me for search for the slightest flaws so that I could compare myself. My deep seated insecurity had hit a new low.
Change was inevitable, but the realization was yet to hit. I fiercely guarded tears as I enviously watched flat-bellied girls parade in their string bikinis on the sunny beaches with not an ounce of fat to be seen anywhere. My mother’s remarks never helped anyways. “Why are you wearing that? It makes you look…(pause) big.”
There was a significant spike in my degree of dissatisfaction during the time I spent in India. I felt lonely, bloated, unattractive and pathetic. I was still single at the age of twenty four after a series of unsuccessful attempted relationships, my life was stagnant and I was unable to make any concrete decisions.
We flew back to Bombay for one last day before leaving for Singapore. My mother, fired up to convert me into a full-fledged Barbie before putting me up for auction on matrimonial sites, had taken an appointment with a herbal specialist who claimed a 100% success rate with any ailment she treated. I was to see her for my lacklustre hair and we were her first patients of the day.
She was a stern looking doctor, who had abandoned her OBGYN practice to set up her own herbal medicine clinic. Strong values, rigid diets and an assortment of oils and creams could cure even alopecia, she claimed. She was a short and skinny woman behind her massive wooden table, which had all papers organized into neat piles. Her hands clasped tightly,she examined my hair and skin. “Hmmm, okay we can fix this, no problem,” her lips pursed. An hour later, we were seated in her understudy’s chair while she rattled off the names and uses of all the medicines.
“Will it work?” my mother asked her anxiously, twisting strands of my hair between her thumb and forefinger. “Look, her hair has become so dead.” So had my spirit.
“Auh, yes.” She hesitated.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Start Your Own Writers' Club
The search
Activities forums are great when looking for like-minded people. It also takes a certain level of open-mindedness to reveal yourself to the world wide web when posting on these, so the people you tend to meet are generally a good lot (although keep a look out for predators and stalkers). Putting up an advertisement on Sydney Gumtree or on your local community center's noticeboard can lead to plenty of responses from other...(read more).
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Friday, October 8, 2010
Sydney International Student Guide
I glanced over my to-do list that included developmental projects in the Niger Delta and grape harvesting in the Rhone Valley and evaluated their practicality. Was I ready for any of this?
After another month of deliberating, procrastinating and unnecessary conversations over endless glasses of wine, I finally took advice from my good friend who was about to start graduate school agreed to evaluate some study options. "Let's not get too crazy," my parents rapped me when I told them that I was considering law school in a Scandinavian country.
Six months later, I found myself landing at Kingsford-Smith with four suitcases and a student visa. Hereon began my journey as an international student.
The Move
The first step was finding a great apartment. Two weeks before my departure for Sydney, I registered on EasyRoommate to search for apartments near my university. The site is a convenient source and is used mostly by students and young professionals looking to share apartments.
I wrote to several potential housemates who had advertised apartments that were well within my budget, and set up appointments for various times after I had landed in the city. This worked out wonderfully because Sydney's inner city is one of the most difficult areas to find a good and reasonable apartment. Because of the pre-arranged appointments, I was able to settle on an apartment in 5 short days.
Getting Around
Getting around in Sydney is not difficult. The buses run decently and the train network works well. As an international student I was not granted a student concession (a hot point in the student community), so I had to buy a full fare ticket. The best deal is the $16 TravelTen pass, which gave me ten rides for the amount within the city.* All the information on how to get around was easily obtainable from the Sydney Buses website.
The best part of discovering any new city is walking. I had a great time just taking long walks around the city and checking out iconic landmarks like the Queen Victoria Building, Capitol Theater,Paddy's Markets, and Darling Harbor. This not only took care of my sightseeing needs, but enabled my usual lack of direction.
Socializing
I was not exactly alone in the big city. I had a great support network of friends and family when I moved here, so I had people giving me great advice all the time. Being in university would eventually give me the opportunity to get more friends, but I had to make an extra effort on my own. Discarding any hang-ups, I placed an advertisement on Sydney Gumtree asking for people who just wanted to meet on a weekly basis to catch up over drinks or coffee around the inner city. The response was fantastic and to this day, we meet up once a week unfailingly for a fantastic time.
Gumtree also has listings for language swaps, community classes and other activities ranging from social tennis to dance lessons and is worth checking out from time to time. At some point, I even tried doing a French-English language swap.
Shopping
A college student's life is equated with a shoestring budget and Sydney is full of otherwise temptations. Sydney has been listed as one of the top 10 most expensive cities to live in, so everything...(read more)
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Be your favorite Mad Men character for Halloween!
All 4 seasons are now available on iTunes!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Location:Sydney
What To Wear For Halloween?
Getting a fantastic costume together for Halloween can be the hardest thing in the world. Come 31 October, you do not want to be stuck at your local Coles or Woolly's trying to decide between the last two masks in the 'desperate' aisle. Most eager beavers start their Halloween costume shopping (or assembling) two months in advance, but if you HAVE left it to the last minute, fear not, this is a foolproof guide to save you from the ghosts of social suicide.
Deciding on the right costume:
The 'Keep It Short and Simple' golden rule is a must when trying to decide who or what you want to go as. It is great that you know every single Pokemon but face it, finding a costume that resembles Togepi's star-shaped head and egg-shaped body is going to be a challenge without being too heavy on the pocket.
The simplistic approach to this is by picking a character that appears on television or even in your favorite comic book, and adding your own twist to it. Last Halloween, my friend came dressed as Genie from the classic television program 'I dream of Genie', that allowed her to throw together....(read more)
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
More writing
Lowenbrau-Keller at The Rocks has a special Oktoberfest planned in honor of the 200th year of the original Oktoberfest almost every day of the week. Mondays at Lowenbrau is for the trivia junkie and winners will receive a Stein trophy. Every Tuesday, beer enthusiasts can go to the bierhall and sample 3 different beers for just $10. If you want to give your kids a preview of what Oktoberfest is about, Lowenbrau is offering family weekends too. Booking in advance is essential.
