I'm Scared

I wrote my first poem in a few years. I have focused so much on prose that I totally forgot what it was like to write a poem! Analysis is after the poem.

I'M SCARED

I am scared of you,
when you tell me in that tone of voice.
Because when I offer
You always take more than I can give.

I am scared of what you think,
so I close my eyes and subsitute
My fear for witty repartee
You will flinch, but you will never know.

I am scared of being with you,
because I always know that you will leave me without a promise or goodbye.
Except when your breaths are short
In your time of need.

I am scared of leaving you,
but I know your heart has migrated
To greener freer pastures.
I hope you will continue to remember.

I am scared of seclusion,
with only my memories left as my companions.
And the inevitable thought of tomorrow.

The poem is about the writer's fear/nervousness/commitment issue etc of meeting the right person and not being able to live up to his standards and he is afraid that he'll never love her enough so she allows him to take her for granted.

The first verse is basically about meeting a guy she likes, and she gives him more than he deserves regardless of how their relationship is. The second verse is about how nervous she always is around him, and she's not sure of herself so she substitutes her nervousness with "witty repartee". Also, the line "My fear for witty repartee" is in the same line instead of separating "my fear" and "for witty repartee" because she is actually afraid to express herself, but she does it in a bizarre split personality way to cover up.

The third verse is about her actually being with him because she knows that this boy is toxic and will eventually treat her in a negative manner "without a promise or goodbye". "Breaths are short, in your time of need" has a sexual connotation to it. Death was not intended. The fourth verse is about her knowing that even though she has to do the right thing by leaving because it's not really going anywhere, she is still scared to move on completely.

Finally the last paragraph shows that, she's done it, she's broken off, and all she has is her memories. I am rather uncomfortable with the last paragraph because I feel it is disconnected from the rest of the poem. It's my first poem in a few years, and I'm very...rusty.