Funniest Horny/Desperate/Wannabe Messages I Have Received

So every girl has her share of weird messages she gets on Facebook, Myspace, or whichever social networking site she uses. I have collected the true winners of my inbox for your reading pleasure. Hope you chuckle as much as I did when I first read them!

In reply to me asking him whether we had met before as I was unable to recall. He had requested me as a friend on Facebook:

Dear Ketki,
Thanks for your reply. Yes, we do not know each others but just
willing to have friendship with you. By profession, I am chemical engineer. Please mail me on xxxxxxxxx@yahoo.co.uk.
Do reply please.
Pxxxx Mxxxxx

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From a very strange guy who does not know how to spell "gorgeous" or "peace". I checked out his profile and all he loves is weed. Apparently that's also all he smokes.

Just wana say u look goergeus in ur Photo's.. Take care
PE@C=

Nxxxx Lxx Nxxx

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This next one is clearly the winner I think (If you can make any sense out of it):

first n foremost i had to say this... u look so so so so astonishingly beautiful.... absolutely gorgeous....
n i really re:ally would like to know somethin here...

r u local... u dont look like one... no way ok...
n is that ur natural hair.... im so crazely in lov with them sweetie...
pls do reply my dear..... thanks... in advance that is... for the reply.... that u gonna send me... i assume.... lol... tc.

from Rxx Hunk

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The next I picked is a bizarre correspondence between myself and a Facebook Romeo:

In response to a friend request I pinged him the usual message:

Me: Hey, really sorry to ask this, but do I know you? I sometimes tend to forget names and faces of people I've met briefly.

Him: hehe...hey not e problem cuz i m e new face for u ...we haven yet met...so howz ur holidays goin on ?????????

Me: New face for me? I guess the future looks pretty bleak for me then, eh? =)

Him: do i look so very ugly??????

Needless to say, I did not reply after that.

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I think this one really has stalker potential:

have seen ur profile u r soo nice and cte i want to be ur friend.. will u be my good frined... where ru living,,,,, nice looking ,, soo cuteekeep in tuch bybye
thx...well i wanna say something about ur beauti and ur sweetness please accept this small words from my pure hearts, ur pics are really sooooooooooo amazing.


dear, Now really i miss u so much,u know, coz ur pic made me mad, its really awesome, and u r looking sooooooooooooooooooo beautiful as Miss Singapore, cute as Singapore Princess , sweet as honey, nice as pretty angel. u look like the princess of butterfly, the queen of Jasmine flower. actually the words of dictionary cant explain ur beauti, i am jus speakless, if i write whole of life narrating ur beauti, i will die but ur sweetness wont be end, ur eyes are jus like diomand pearls, the sky is feeling jealoous beause its two beautiful star u take as it becomes ur eyes, i wish and i dream that i can see this Masterpiece of the GOd, beauti of universe live with my naked eyes.

with best and sweet regards
Rxxxx

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This next one was just plain weird. I still don't get what he means by me having a "student" look?:

Hey, how's it going. Hope you're enjoying yourself here. Let's go deeper and talk like normal people =)

All I know abt you now is that you have a student look and can be a little naughty at times. I'd like to know more.

So what's your story?

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