Wedding Favors and Bonbonnieres

I have signed on as a guest blogger/writer to One Stylish Bride to write about all things "bridal" despite my obvious lack of knowledge on the topic. However, the lovely people at One Stylish Bride do acknowledge my vast experience in attending weddings as well as in event planning (shameless self promotion bit). I have posted one of my entries for their site, although I'm not sure whether it will be going up anytime soon.

Happy reading!

Wedding Favors and Bonbonnieres

It has been a while since I have been to a wedding that had actually really pretty bonbonnieres. The history of these traditional miniature trinket boxes comes from European aristocrats, where delicate boxes containing sugar crystals were given to wedding guests for good health. The custom evolved over the decades and wedding favors now come in the form of chocolate, scented soaps and even picture frames.

Which brings me to my original train of thought. Make your wedding favors memorable firstly by not giving your guests something extraordinarily vomit inducing and secondly, giving them something they can actually use. Four months ago, I went to a lovely wedding. Expensive, elaborate, and even the food was good. The function went smoothly except for the occasional slap on the bum from an old horny uncle, but I’m not complaining. There really is no pre-emptive damage control for that sort of thing.

When I picked up the cute little pink lace pouch by the side of my plate to take home - first impressions: pretty. I opened the pouch in the taxi on my way home and found two mirrored plastic frames, one containing the groom’s photo and the other with the bride’s, neither too flattering. I wondered of all things how this escaped the wedding planner’s attention. I tossed these into my pile of useless wedding nonsense that I have successfully collected over the past few years and I can honestly say that pile is becoming rather tall.

Here’s the thing about selecting a good bonbonniere. Be traditional. Their historical function as sugar boxes (and eventually for candied almonds) is still applicable today. Bonbonniere.com.au has the most adorable collection of trinket boxes with delicate patterns and carvings to choose from. Plus your guests will either reuse them, or gift them on.

If you are the kind who is getting married in black leather and chains, or you just prefer something a little offbeat, there are plenty of non-traditional options. Some great wedding favor ideas I have seen are engraved scented candles, personalized card decks, and miniature bags embroidered with the couple’s initials.

Lastly, chocolate is always welcome.

Sydney No Pants Train Ride

Only if you dare, for one morning leave your pants (and manners) at home during your morning commute to work and give fellow passengers on CityRail a bit of a fright. The Sydney No Pants Train Ride is exactly what it means – a no pants train ride.

The event is to take place over a course of three days and is going to be done in true flashmob style. The organizers of the event are aiming to host the event in January 2011 (Saturday) via the City Circle Train Loop and will involve passengers onboard the trains casually removing their pants as the journey continues sending waves of shock and surprise through morning commuters. The event organizers are trying to maintain a degree of secrecy with regards to the actual date to hold the element of surprise. (Read More)

iPhone apps for Party People

Forget flipping through the pages of the Sydney Morning Herald to get updates on the latest party scene or even surfing the web for hours on what to do for the weekend. Information is now instantaneous and at your fingertips if you have an iPhone. I shamelessly admit that I am an application junkie with over 50 useless apps just waiting to be used at some point in time.

What I also am is a regular Saturday after-hours kind of girl who loves to be part of the scene. Combining these two great loves was easy and Sydney Party People and Bescene were downloaded.

Bescene
On the most basic level, I like Bescene. Its name is catchy and makes a play on the words 'be', 'scene' and 'seen'. The application is free, which is always good news. The interface is clean and in black and white with minimal design. So far all good.
The menu at the bottom features a 'MyScene' section which allows you to save your favorite clubs, a 'Tonight' section for events happening that night, a 'Search' and a 'Vade Mecum' section which ideally is supposed to function as some sort of handbook or guidebook but in this case, I am not entirely sure. The application has a nice way of presenting the events. Event posters are pre-loaded and you can select the ones you want. Selecting the poster immediately gives the viewer more information about the party.
The best part about this application is that it also has the Melbourne party scene included, so if you can use one handy application for both cities. The application is free.
Overall - 9/10

Sydney Party People
This is a decent application with a very vibrant interface and its bright pink icon will make sure that you find it very quickly on the phone. The application is divided into 'Party News', 'Events', 'Tuneage' and 'Sydney Venues'. I hardly ever read the section on Party News, mainly because I'll save the news reading for next morning when I have a cup of tea in one hand and the SMH in the other. Other than that, I like the Events page which is a good list of all the upcoming events around the city. My only gripe is whether the developers the question of regularity with regards to content updates.
Tuneage is for the trance/house music lovers and features some tracks to listen on the go. I did not spot a download function, but I was able to keep the music running while I used other applications.
The application has a general list of venues and their contact details around the city which I found immensely helpful. However, I got the feeling that the developers had tried to cram too much into one application, not to mention its gaudy design. Despite these minor setbacks, I will still keep using it. The application is free.
Overall: 8/10

I gave Bescene a better rating mainly because I like the minimalist tone to it as well as its easy navigation, unless you like heaps of information, constant news streams and add-ons, then I would suggest the latter.

Single and Fabulous

I revisited my older entry on the single life and added a little "feature" aspect to it.

Enjoy.

They should start issuing arrest warrants for being single now, especially since public heckling of the single woman has become an acceptable process. Miss Manners deemed it inappropriate to poke fun at overweight people, the mentally challenged, physically handicapped, and even smokers so everybody decided to give it a go at single women. We are, after all, easy targets – alone, susceptible to depression with the tendency to lead slightly "unorthodox" lifestyles. Who could blame us? Unburdened by the pressure of screaming children, mounting bills, irresponsible spouses and the regrettable series of "what ifs", as a bulls-eye we are rather appealing.

Myth 1: Every single woman chooses to be single

Burned at the stake for being single, I try to explain to friends and family alike that this is not a "lifestyle choice". "Darling, this is so unhealthy and unnecessary. Please fall in love, or let us find you somebody to spend the rest of your life with," my mother laments at the breakfast table every morning while twisting her wedding ring. My parents have been in union for twenty seven years.

According to them, I am reaching my expiry date. Emile Durkheim's Social Construction of Reality mentioned how basic reciprocal roles become habitualized and institutionalized over the period of time, which he aptly termed "social constructionism". I suppose this -ism might be able to explain how and how couples tend to view the single individual. With coupling up, a certain sense of conformity, stability and certainty settles in, and the "single" is perceived as the polar opposite, or the mysterious "other".

Myth 2: We live like the Sex and the City girls

This leads me to the inexcusable assumption that the single woman is easily promiscuous and lacks the appropriate morals to maintain a steady relationship. A "How are you?" to an old friend who was recently engaged to be married warranted a "How are all the men, wink wink. Tell me your sexy stories," followed by unnecessary giggles. This left me not only offended, but slightly shaken. I live by the adage, 'A person is only exceeded by their reputation', and this was definitely not good news.
More on my alleged sexed up behavior, according to another source is if I were to ever to star in any movie, it would be titled, "Ketki's Sex and the City". Even better, now I feel like a real movie celebrity who is getting to star in her very own pornographic blockbuster. "Hitting Adult Film Stores near you!"

I truly am astonished with the general assumption of the single woman's promiscuity. Perhaps popular media such as Sex and the City has been a major contributing factor towards creating these negative preconceived notions, but are people seriously too daft to distinguish between television and reality? Hey, not every woman can be the man Samantha is.

Embrace your singledom

I say we stick it to those busybodies who have persecuted us for decades and celebrate being single exactly like the Sex and the City girls. Why shirk into the shadows when you can flaunt it instead?

Fact one: Single people have more fun

Single people DO have more fun. With no partner restrictions, you are free to do anything you like. Have you been buggered into going for your second cousin's brother in law's sister's wedding where you will only be scrutinized further and then set up on equally horrid blind dates? Then don't go.

Instead, treat yourself to a day by getting on a helicopter and touring around Sydney Harbor while enjoying the view, followed by a luxurious lunch buffet at the Sydney Tower Restaurant. In the evening, grab your single girlfriends and head over to the Taronga Zoo for a 'Roar and Snore' sleepover, where you can sleep in chic tents while overlooking the Sydney Harbor on one side, and lions on the other.

Fact two: Life can be like Sex and the City

Live like a Sex and the City girl. Do the shopping, martinis, and parties. After all, Sydney is a very sexy city. Head to King St at Newtown which is home to some of the edgiest fashion in the city. If you feel like being surrounded by the familiar faces of high fashion, spend the day at the Queen Victoria Building or Skygarden that feature top notch Australian and international labels.

After shopping, hit the Establishment Bar or The Loft for some cosmopolitans with your single girlfriends, and party the night away at Stonewall on Oxford Street, that features some of the best drag shows in town.

Stand up for yourself

The next time an annoying aunt asks you why you are still single, flash her your winning smile and tell her off in typical Samantha Jones style, "None of your f&*^@#) business!" Then storm off in those Louboutins.

Villain

I had written this a few months ago, and I was hesitant to publish it. Oh what the hell. This is PURELY FICTION even though some aspects of my life were used to fuel the story.

“Pass the prawn curry,” I mumbled as I reached out over the table over steaming plates of white Basmati rice, Fish Ambotik, marinated cod fillets, naans dripping with thick butter and round soft gulabjamuns. As I reached out, I began to notice that my elbows had begun to develop dimples once again, my arms had become thicker and my elegant female form that I had worked so hard to achieve was now fading into obscurity. I was becoming fat girl again.

Fat girl was a persona who nobody liked in the family. She was always depressed, mean, constantly critical of others, and she hoarded on clothes. I was the ideal example of a bipolar eater – an obsessive dieter for two weeks and then an irresponsible gorger for six.

I had just recovered from a year of post bronchitis chronic cough, and after steroidal medication, the additional pounds had packed on. As I reached for the prawn curry cooked in heavy coconut milk, cream and red spices, my mother’s glanced up at me sternly and shook her head. Always a cheerleader for my weightloss, and a healthy contributor for my low self-esteem in the process, I retracted with a guilty expression.

After the satisfying lunch, we walked out to our bus. There were twelve of us, my parents, my brother and me, my uncle’s wife and two children, my other uncle’s two children, and a couple who were family friends of many years. The interesting people in the whole group were really the couple, out of whom the wife was a dermatologist and a consultant for the Miss India beauty pageant. Standing at a petite five feet with a rock solid body wearing only thin cotton mini, she sported a Mondial watch, and spoke in a smooth buttery high pitched voice.

“Girls,” she cooed, addressing me and my sixteen year old female cousins, “You know how to look slimmer in photos?” What was she hinting at? That fat girl needed some extra help?

“Uh, haha sure why not?” I giggled nervously. The prawn curry and rice was lying heavy on my stomach, not to mention the beige capris were not helping to minimize my rather large behind.

“Okay, first slowly rotate your body to the right so that you look diagonal. Now right hand on your right hip and look towards the camera. Give some attitude. Right, fantastic, great, pose!” Flash! My father topped my embarrassment with his strategic right here right now “with my trusty camera”. I rushed to the camera to see if her idea really worked. All I saw was a fatter version of me smiling sheepishly trying out for the Miss Elephant Thailand pageant. The diagonal angle had caused a larger surface area of my body to be exposed. This position may work on stick thin anorexic models who survive on a diet of cigarettes, lettuce and coffee, but not my figure of fish curry and rice.

“Isn’t it fantastic?” she revelled.

“Heh, yeah, great. Thanks,” I mumbled. I turned around, did the eye roll I developed as an adolescent and sauntered off. What did she know? She never had to suffer the cruel fate of a slow metabolism.

We climbed into the big family bus and began our two-hour journey to the airport. I looked out the window at the rolling Goan countryside. My mind traveled back through the four days we spent at the resort. I had spent most of the evenings before dinner trying to squeeze into pants a size smaller, which led to the rest of the night being uncomfortable about whether my love handles were hanging out. I was constantly scanning girls’ bodies around me for search for the slightest flaws so that I could compare myself. My deep seated insecurity had hit a new low.

Change was inevitable, but the realization was yet to hit. I fiercely guarded tears as I enviously watched flat-bellied girls parade in their string bikinis on the sunny beaches with not an ounce of fat to be seen anywhere. My mother’s remarks never helped anyways. “Why are you wearing that? It makes you look…(pause) big.”

There was a significant spike in my degree of dissatisfaction during the time I spent in India. I felt lonely, bloated, unattractive and pathetic. I was still single at the age of twenty four after a series of unsuccessful attempted relationships, my life was stagnant and I was unable to make any concrete decisions.

We flew back to Bombay for one last day before leaving for Singapore. My mother, fired up to convert me into a full-fledged Barbie before putting me up for auction on matrimonial sites, had taken an appointment with a herbal specialist who claimed a 100% success rate with any ailment she treated. I was to see her for my lacklustre hair and we were her first patients of the day.

She was a stern looking doctor, who had abandoned her OBGYN practice to set up her own herbal medicine clinic. Strong values, rigid diets and an assortment of oils and creams could cure even alopecia, she claimed. She was a short and skinny woman behind her massive wooden table, which had all papers organized into neat piles. Her hands clasped tightly,she examined my hair and skin. “Hmmm, okay we can fix this, no problem,” her lips pursed. An hour later, we were seated in her understudy’s chair while she rattled off the names and uses of all the medicines.

“Will it work?” my mother asked her anxiously, twisting strands of my hair between her thumb and forefinger. “Look, her hair has become so dead.” So had my spirit.

“Auh, yes.” She hesitated.

Start Your Own Writers' Club

Despite Sydney's varied artistic and cultural scene, I noticed that there is a distinct lack of opportunities for amateur writers to gain constructive criticism on their efforts through writing groups, read-meets and poetry open-mic nights. Being eager to hone my craft, I decided to take advantage of this opportunity and try out a writing group.

The search

I scoured the activity forums for people who had similar interests and found a post from a writer who was new in town from London. 'We used to have writers clubs all over London, and I would like to get started writing again in Singapore. Anybody interested?' was her message to the forum. I replied to her email and said that I was out with a similar intention and if she would like to start something together, I was willing. And thus, Saturday Morning Writers was born.

Activities forums are great when looking for like-minded people. It also takes a certain level of open-mindedness to reveal yourself to the world wide web when posting on these, so the people you tend to meet are generally a good lot (although keep a look out for predators and stalkers). Putting up an advertisement on Sydney Gumtree or on your local community center's noticeboard can lead to plenty of responses from other...(read more).

Sunset

The sunset from my balcony!


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